


Safe with You

by aloriahfray



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1521353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloriahfray/pseuds/aloriahfray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is finally allowed to be alone with Steve and as an old memory is rehashed it becomes obvious this was the one place he needed to be all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe with You

It was the first time Bucky and Steve had been alone since The Winter Soldier had been found and brought back to Stark Tower. After months of tests, therapy, and rehabilitation they had finally deemed him safe enough to be left in the same room as Steve.

They sat on the edge of Steve’s bed, hands folded in their laps and eyes trained on the floor. There was an almost tangible tension in the room—something new and terrifying but also decades old crackling in the small space between them.

This was Bucky—the man that Steve had loved and leaned on for everything when he was still that scrawny kid from Brooklyn—but even as he glanced over at that familiar face he didn’t quite recognize him. The confidence and the luster of his eyes had faded and were replaced with a coldness and uncertainty.

“Buck…they said you got some of your memories back, but they couldn’t specify which ones,” the blonde started, watching his friend anxiously. “What…what do you remember about me?”

Bucky’s eyes darkened and his mouth turned down into that frustratingly endearing frown that made him look like a wounded animal. His voice was soft and sad as he replied, “I remember that I loved you. But I don’t…I don’t remember _how_.”

“You don’t remember how...how to—to love?” Steve stammered, unsure of his words. He wasn’t quite sure what his friend was trying to say.

The dark haired man nodded and ran his metal fingers wearily through his shaggy hair.

“I’m not supposed to feel anything. Especially not that. They’ve tried to help me in therapy, but…” He shrugged and looked over at Steve for the first time since they’d sat down with each other.

“Well maybe I can help,” Steve suggested, although he had no idea how he was going to do that. “You don’t have the connection to them that you have to me. Maybe that’s what you need.”

“Steve…” Buck’s frown deepened, forehead creasing with concern.

“What is it?”

“It’s just…I’m…” He shook his head, huffing as he tried to figure out how to put his thoughts into words.

“Hey…it’s okay,” Steve soothed, subconsciously reaching over and resting a hand on Bucky’s thigh. He gave it a gentle squeeze and smiled softly at the other man.

“I’m… _afraid_.”

It felt like Steve’s heart was going to shatter and his grip on Bucky’s leg tightened. “Well I’ve got news for you, Buck. Everyone is scared of love. Even me. But…but sometimes people get really lucky and they find that one person that’s just _it_ for them—for forever—and sometimes you have to take a chance…sometimes…”

He trailed off, throat closing as he tried to choke back the urge to cry. Bucky was that person for him—always had been. He’d never forgotten that and he’d never tried to replace him. Even when Natasha attempted relentlessly to set him up with a date, he’d refused time and time again, because no one could ever fill the hole that the man next to him had left.

“Can we just…can we try something?” Bucky whispered, hesitantly meeting Steve’s gaze. “It’s one of the clearest memories I have of you and every time I think about it…I feel better. For a little while.”

Steve’s heart gave an aggressive thud that felt like it would knock the wind out of him and he nodded swiftly. He’d do whatever Bucky needed him to do. “Sure. What memory is it?”

His friend’s gaze moved back to the floor, but he answered quietly, “We were young…just teenagers. And you were sick again and it was up to me to look after you. I put all the extra blankets and pillows on the couch for you; wanted to make sure you were comfortable…and you looked at me, laying on the floor at your side with a thin sheet and beat up pillow to lay on…”

“And I asked you to share the couch with me,” Steve finished, tears swelling in his eyes. “Said I was still cold, even though I had three blankets.”

“Yeah…and I knew you were full of it. That you just wanted me to sleep next to you. So I did what you wanted and we curled up together on that tiny couch.”

“You kissed me for the first time that night.”

Bucky let out a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh and nodded, handed resting on top of Steve’s. “Yeah, I did. Pulled you into my arms—felt how warm you were—and I said you were a punk who knew just how to get his way and then I kissed you.”

He took a deep, shaky breath and looked at the blonde with tears in eyes. “Will you sleep by me tonight?”

“Of course I will.” Steve smiled weakly and gently began to pull Bucky into his arms. “Whatever you need, I’ll give you. M’with you ‘til the end of the line, remember?”

They lay back on the bed that was so much larger and softer than that old, rickety couch, but still wrapped around one another just as close as they had on that cold Brooklyn night years and years ago.

“I never want to forget again,” Bucky whispered into the curve of Steve’s shoulder.

“I won’t let you. I promise. Never gonna let you go again.”

There was a long moment of silence, the two of them simply soaking up how good it felt to be so close to one another again, but then Bucky muttered, “Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“I feel safe.”

Steve had to bite his lip to keep from crying, knowing from all the reports and the observations that for Bucky to feel _safe_ with anyone was huge. He could feel the trust as his friend scooted impossibly closer to him and he knew that even if Buck didn’t remember how to love him just yet that was okay. This was enough for now—maybe even for forever. As long as Bucky was there with him and felt safe in his arms, things would be alright.


End file.
